Silver Crosshair

While aspects of you encourage, “Go for your dreams,”
simultaneously other parts threaten, “Don’t you dare.” A cast of
characters lives inside of you and at different times you may
receive conflicting or contradictory messages. If you are want
to be happy, successful, and fulfilled, consider putting your
“dreamer” in the director’s chair.

What are the voices inside of you saying? As you turn the volume
up on the voice of your dreamer and down on the voice of your
doubter, you can practice discernment allowing for greater
clarity. To assist you in hearing these voices, let’s set up a
simple scenario. Picture something you want, something that
matters to you. Choose a personal or professional dream and
consider how these various parts of you might respond.

Dreamer - The dreamer inside says, “What if…” and is open
to a creative process without over-analyzing it. This is the
part of you that imagines, believes in possibilities, has hope,
and seeks kindred spirits. Dreamers talk about their ideas with
intention, clarity, and passion. Great dreamers get others
excited about their vision. And most importantly, successful
dreamers take action to make their dreams a reality.

Doubter - This voice is often heard saying such things
as, “I don’t think this is a good idea.” The doubter provides
concern touting, “But what if…” and imagines the worst. If you
crank the volume up it can even become annihilating with
accusations shouting things like, “Are you out of your mind?”
William Shakespeare said, “Our doubts are traitors.” Carlos
Castaneda said, “In order to experience the magic of life, you
must banish the doubt.” My favorite quote on this subject is in
The Prophet where Kahlil Gibran wrote, “Doubt is a
feeling too lonely to know that Faith is its twin brother.”

Realist - “Be realistic…” Modulate the doubter down a
notch or two and it becomes the essential voice of the realist.
This part wants to know, “What’s the plan?” including where is
the time and money coming from. However, in the early phase of
dreaming, you may not know. The challenge is not to allow the
realist to immediately turn into a doubter who might judge or
obliterate your idea. Honor this voice by (to the best of your
ability) giving it the information it needs. If you ignore or
reject it, it will cleverly agitate or distract you. Being
realistic offers prudence and makes you do your homework but if
you are overly realistic or go to strategy too soon, you will
most likely compromise the dream and kill your passion.

Visionary - This voice says, “Anything is possible so
let’s dream big!” These are the leaders and people we look up to
and admire. They have learned the process of realizing their
dreams and embody what it means to be a big dreamer. Setbacks or
failures do not stop them. Simply put, a visionary has a vision
and invites others to join them. They are found in all walks of
life and we are often so inspired when they are in the presence
of a true visionary that we sign up just to be near them or part
of what they’re doing.

A visionary is not defined by the size of the dream since dreams
are precious and come in all sizes, shapes and areas of life. If
you were living your dream life, how would it be different? What
do you see yourself doing? How many lives would you touch? What
would you change? Who would you help if you were truly living as
a visionary?

Avoid Sabotaging Your Dream

When these different voices merge they can become muddled and
result in confusion and poor decisions. For example, you might
poison your dream by projecting doubt into it. Then with each
step you take toward what you want, you also move toward your
doubt. Doubt and fear, which most of us may have at some time or
another (especially when embarking on a new or big dream) do not
belong in your dream. These feelings are simply part of your
reality. This is a subtle and essential point.

Here’s a simple technique for avoiding this sabotaging pattern.
On a piece of paper draw a line across the middle. On the top
half write out your dream with as much detail as possible. On
the bottom write out your reality in relationship to your dream,
where you are now. Reality usually includes good news and (so
called) bad, as well as any fear or doubt you may have. Just
state the facts and your feelings about them.

Now, which one are you more committed to; your dream or your
reality? We tend to choose “reality” when we don’t have a
clearly defined dream or when we saturate our dream with doubt.
If your dream is loaded with your worst imagined nightmares,
reality will always seem safer and saner. But doubt placed
appropriately as part of your reality, allows two things to
happen. First, no longer blown out of proportion, it’s an
obstacle that basically requires a strategy to manage it. But
more importantly, with doubt where it rightfully belongs, you
are free to move forward.

It’s like a play. All the characters have wisdom and insight,
but you can’t clearly understand them when they’re speaking at
once. Take time to tune in, to listen, and on a regular basis,
have the courage to give your dreamer its directorial debut or
even the leading role.